How to Be a Gimp When Lions are Chasing You

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Two weeks later, I find myself still in DC rehabbing my ankle and hobbling around this historic city.  PCV’s have different thoughts about being med-evaced.  Everyone is here for a different reason, some for surgery and rehab, some for counseling, some for far worse (assault, threats, etc).  It is like a mini-PC world in the middle of Georgetown, where PCV’s from all over the world find themselves bonding over war stories of villages and pueblos far away from the hustle and bustle of the Metro in mid-town DC.  Normally, this would be right up my alley, an extrovert like myself…the life of the party… “Let’s go out!  Let’s explore DC and get to know each other!”  But, with one leg in a brace and dragging behind me, I soon found out that Georgetown is like some third-world countries in its “friendliness”towards the disabled.  The cobblestone streets and brick sidewalks may seem like a good idea to the National Park Service and the Historical Societies, but to anyone with a crutch as an accessory, it’s just a nuisance.

Togo & Honduras make their way to the National Zoo

After a few days with my leg propped up in the hotel room I was definitely bored.  My roommate, Terri, and I decided to open the drapes and venture out.  The weather in DC has been less than stellar, in fact it has been downright dismal, with below normal temps and rain.  At any rate, we decided to hit up the National Zoo, where we sought out a wheelchair for my gimp leg.  What we found was a $25 fee and background check on our driving skills to take out the “rascal.”  $25?!?  What is the National Zoo coming to when a space boot doesn’t even get you a free ride around the lions, tigers and what was that…AN ANACONDA?  We were told we had to walk to the pandas to get a regular wheelchair, in which Terri would push me around, up and down the hills, where a field trip of kids later stepped on my foot as they raced to see the zebras.  One point for the wilderness, zero points for Jen and Terri.

So cold in DC; waiting for Cherry Blossom Parade to start

Land of budget cuts

Next, I decided to venture up to the National Peace Corps Association to see if I could offer up a combination of my volunteer and political skills all mashed in one.  As though it was my lucky day, the NPCA was begging, I mean advocating, Congress not to cut their .1% of the national budget.  Swindler that I am, I took those letters and hobbled my air cast right on up to Capital Hill.  Three days later we had collected ¼ of the signatures.  While pulling myself back up on the bus, I informed the driver I had accidently gotten on the wrong bus one minute ago and “did I really need to pay again, since the driver had only taken me one block?”  He said “Do you know how many times a day I hear that from people wearing a cast on their foot?”  

Actually, no I don’t, but thanks for reminding me how dishonest DC and the USA are.  Really?  I find it hard to believe that hoards of people are peddling their butts around the United States of America in casts just looking to save a buck.  Let’s just also insert a note here that I can bus it all around Central America without getting lost, but when it comes to our Nation’s Capital, I have taken the wrong bus twice this week. 

More awesomeness to being “disadvantaged” in a big city is having everyone and their grandpa asking “Wow, that’s a big boot, how did you hurt your ankle?”  Since the real story is totally not interesting, I have begun creating interesting and totally amusing lies to see where the day will take me.  Here are some of the best I have come up with (and that people actually believe):

-I am a gymnast and was training for the 2012 Olympics; I fell off the balance beam and broke it.

-I live in Honduras and we have really big lions living in the mountains.  They were chasing me as I waited for the bus. (The fact that people don’t know there are lions in Honduras is what is sad).

-I am a burlesque dancer and I was hanging from chandeliers during one of my performances; as I was swinging to the next one I slipped and fell onto the bar. (I’m pretty sure this one could be true).

National Cherry Blossom Parade

Despite my balance beam/burlesque performances, my ankle is healing.  The doctor has cleared me to return to Honduras at the beginning of May.  I now have a lace up protective brace that I’ll wear almost every day while in country.  I will also wear tennis shoes more, instead of my Chaco’s.  I have tried to take full advantage of DC, by volunteering with NPCA, meeting with Peace Corps Director Aaron Williams, visiting all the museums, and more.  After averaging two books a week while in Honduras, I haven’t picked up a book since being here, but I have read every exhibit at the US History Museum, Holocaust Memorial Museum, Newseum and more.  I have learned more about Abe Lincoln than I ever knew before and am definitely a master on all things Presidential. 

Thanks for the memories, DC, it has been fun.  Look out, Honduras, I’m (almost) back to normal and ready to return to country.  It’s about to get crazy!